How Did I Get Here? — Belonging, Becoming, and the Beauty of the Journey
It is my heartfelt belief that every person desires to belong. Yet life inevitably brings difficulties—waves crashing into us from every side. The sheer force of these moments can cause us to question decisions once made with excitement and conviction. In those troubling times, nothing steadies us more than a sense of certainty about our place in the world.
For me, the journey toward that certainty has been guided by a subtle yet persistent question that has threaded through my life: How did I get here?
A Quiet Question That Never Left Me
I remember asking this question for the first time at age nine, traveling back and forth between the homes of my divorced parents. Years later, during a college experience marked by partying and subsequent misery, I found myself wondering again: How did I get here?
Then, after my conversion to Catholicism, I sat in my first seminary class—and the question, though less distressing, surfaced once more. It was as if this question was quietly journeying with me, waiting for moments of pause to rise again.
Moments That Shaped the Journey
Fast forward eight years. I was on the precipice of ordination to the priesthood when, just two days before the COVID-19 shutdown, I discerned a different calling for my life. During that global pause, How did I get here? echoed louder than ever.
The question returned again in the early days of my Marriage and Family Therapy training and as I took my first steps into clinical work. Each of these seasons carried its own intensity—another wave crashing into the shore. But they also offered something else: insight.
I learned not to run from the question. Instead, I began to embrace it. Over time, How did I get here? became less a cry of confusion and more a compass in my lifelong search for meaning and certainty.
Finding Ground in the Storm
Today, while the journey is still unfolding, I live with more clarity and joy than ever before. That’s thanks to both professional and personal transformations.
Professionally, I’ve found deep fulfillment using Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) to support individuals and couples. The model resonates profoundly with me, and I’ve seen firsthand its power to foster healing and connection. Being part of the team at Married Life Counseling—a group of therapists who both support and challenge one another to grow—has been equally life-giving.
Love That Transforms
Yet, the deepest source of my certainty comes from my relationship with Kelly, the love of my life. While my education taught me the importance of connection, it is through our relationship—and soon, our marriage on May 30, 2025—that I’ve truly come to understand it.
Before, I approached life’s big questions with hesitation and anxiety. Now, because of the certainty that flows from our relationship, I face them with confidence and vigor. Her presence and love have shown me firsthand that belonging leads to becoming. And in belonging with her, I’m becoming the person I was created to be.
Walking With You
This mantra—belonging leads to becoming—is why I do not shy away from sharing my story. Of all the trials and tribulations I’ve faced, learning to engage the question How did I get here? has given me the ability to meet others with compassion.
I will never claim to know your experience. But I am deeply familiar with the journey—searching for connection, meaning, and a place to truly belong. I am certain I was put on this earth to walk alongside others in that search.
And I look forward to the privilege of walking with you.
