Christie’s Story
From Struggle to Strength: The journey that inspired Married Life.
The Heart Behind Married Life Counseling
Our big day in 1993!
Once upon a time, two Copley High School teenagers, Mike and Christie, became best friends and eventually fell in love. After dating for nearly five years, they married and started their family of four daughters four years later. Early in their marriage, however, they found themselves struggling. Frequent conflict replaced the easy connection they once shared, prompting the young couple to seek counseling. Over the years, they worked with more than a dozen counselors, trying to find help to rediscover the “best-friendship” of their youth.
Through nearly three decades of counseling, workshops, retreats, books, and podcasts, Mike and Christie have navigated challenging dynamics with increasing clarity and direction. Today, they remain together, working continually to build a healthier, stronger relationship.
Why We Share Our Story
This snapshot of my life is meant to offer hope to couples who feel trapped in chaos, conflict, or confusion. Despite our challenges, Mike and I share a “never give up” spirit when it comes to our marriage and family. While our journey has been long and difficult, it’s also been worth every step.
Like many of our clients, we both came from families with dysfunction. We longed to create a happy, peaceful home—one where teamwork and love were the foundation. Mike’s upbringing in a financially stable, two-parent home with one younger sister seemed ideal to me, especially given my own transient childhood. By the time I was 16, my family had moved 11 times across three states, and I had attended multiple schools.
What we didn’t realize, however, was that unresolved trauma and abuse were lurking beneath the surface of Mike’s “stability.” These hidden wounds wouldn’t fully reveal themselves until nearly two decades into our marriage. Like many people, Mike had rationalized his childhood experiences as “normal” compared to what he saw in other families. It’s natural to believe that leaving the past behind is the best way to move forward, but for us, that approach didn’t work.
The Pursuit of Answers
Our struggles and discouragement with many well-meaning therapists led me on a passionate quest for better answers. We were two people with a deep desire to love well and weren’t ashamed to ask for help. So why did it take decades to find the support we needed?
Several factors contributed:
- Cultural Individualism – Our culture often focuses on individual struggles, leaving few people equipped to enter the uncomfortable and complex dynamics of couples therapy.
- Emerging Research – The best interventions for couples therapy, such as the Gottman Approach and Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), only began emerging in the 1970s and 1980s. It takes years—sometimes decades—for research to be implemented into widespread practice, leaving many therapists without adequate training.
- Emotional Safety – Healing requires both partners to feel emotionally and relationally safe enough to explore the wounds and patterns they’ve worked hard to protect.
Still together in 2025.
Finding Hope Through EFT
In 2019, after years of searching, Mike and I attended an Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) weekend, Love and Enrich, with Dr. Kristy Koser in Berlin, Ohio. For the first time, we experienced a deep, clear understanding of each other. EFT gave us tools we’d never had before, and it changed everything.
As I pursued my graduate studies at Ashland Theological Seminary, I learned that many therapists avoid working with couples due to the challenges involved. Yet EFT offered a framework of hope and practical tools that resonated deeply with me. Since then, I’ve continued to study and practice EFT, and it remains the most impactful intervention for our marriage.
We are not an overnight success story. Healing decades of patterns and habits takes time and effort. However, EFT gave us a way forward that no other approach had.
The Mission Behind Married Life Counseling
Our experiences are the driving force behind Married Life Counseling. It breaks my heart to hear couples describe how well-meaning pastors or counselors unintentionally caused more harm than good. Couples therapy requires specialized training, ongoing education, and a deep understanding of relationship dynamics.
Marriage matters.
Our family at daughter Abigail’s wedding in 2019.
It matters to individuals, to families, and to communities. Yet, genuinely thriving marriages—marked by love, affection, and friendship—can feel rare. That’s why we’re committed to helping couples not just survive, but flourish.
Mike and I are not a perfect couple, but we love each other deeply. We continue to strive for connection, intimacy, and lasting companionship. Our marriage matters to us, to our children, and the generations to come.
At Married Life Counseling, we’re passionate about helping others find the love, support, and connection they dream of. Together, we can help build a legacy of thriving marriages.
