5 Benefits of Premarital Counseling
Why ask for help when everything feels great?
‘Happy, healthy, and head over heels’! Does this describe you? Or are you in the literal or metaphorical “honeymoon” phase of your relationship? If so, the last thing on your mind would be to ask for help. Studies show, however, premarital and early marriage counseling can significantly reduce the chance of divorce further down the road. Here are 5 benefits of premarital counseling you can benefit from before you say ‘I do’!
1. Better Communication
Communication is so much more than “just talking”. Oftentimes, we are raised to communicate one way, then in adulthood, we discover that method does not always work. Couples counseling is designed to build a strong foundation of communication in ways not commonly taught elsewhere. Learning to identify and state your feelings in a way that moves toward connection and turns from accusations can be a game changer for your relationship.
2. Uncover New Things About Each Other
This may seem like an easy one, but oftentimes couples find themselves years into marriage saying “Wow, I didn’t know that about you”. That’s understandable. Simply put, you can’t know what you don’t know. Counseling helps couples dive into new areas for growth, conversation and connection to build your understanding and love for one another. From food preferences to fore-play there is always more to uncover.
3. Adjust Your Expectations
Marriage or serious dating relationships can be accompanied by a lot of expectations- both spoken and silent. Again, you can’t know what you don’t know. Exploring relationship expectations through counseling will allow you as a couple to understand, absorb and grow with each other. You will be able to talk through your expectations. So often, unspoken expectations can result in bigger misunderstandings down the road. By leaning into each other to understand not only what the expectations are, but also where they come from, can prevent future upset. The sooner this process starts, the better.
4. Recognize and Address Areas of Potential Conflict
I wish I had a magic wand that would ensure you the perfect marriage in 10 sessions or less, but I don’t. What I do have are tools to help couples explore, understand, and identify where there could be conflict in the future. By knowing certain topics or actions might lead to an argument, you can enter that conversation with elevated grace, patience and calmness as a preventative measure. Anticipating what your partner is sensitive to, and taking action to help alleviate those triggers, builds a trusting and safe marital bond. It’s like having the answers to the test before taking it!
5. Plan for the Marriage you WANT to Have
The above four benefits all have the same goal in common: they focus on the future. Number 5 even more so embraces that focus. It is so easy to plan for the marriage you think you should have based on your own familial, religious, cultural or societal expectations. But what about the marriage YOU want? Early counseling helps couples delve into what kind of marriage they seek to have for themselves. Again, building this special bond with trust and understanding leads to feeling safe to express desires and dreams with each other. From my own experience, there is nothing better than having a partner that shares your hopes and dreams!
I know it can seem counterintuitive to seek professional help when there is no pressing or looming problem. In the IT world, there is this idea of “technological debt”. In a nutshell, a company takes the time early on to consistently invest in updating their servers and technology. The goal is to prevent big, costly problems in the future. In the same way, pre-engagement and premarital counseling is an investment in your future together. Putting in the work early on can prevent heartache and disaster later in your long-term relationship.
While no two couples are the same, the recommended format for premarital counseling is 6-8 weekly or bi-weekly sessions and then monthly sessions afterward. In the midst of all the wedding arrangements and mayhem, premarital counseling is a wonderful way to slow things down and invest in the life you hope for after the big day.
To inquire about premarital counseling, visit our website Married Life Counseling to schedule an appointment with one of our coaches or counselors today or call our office at 234-303-2325.
Additional information on the benefits of Premarital Counseling:
1. Couples who underwent counseling before their wedding had a 30% higher marital success rate than those who did not.
2. 44% of couples who get married today agree to premarital counseling before they decide to take their wedding vows.
3. A happy marriage is one of the most important life objectives for 93% of Americans.
From the article: 20 Significant Premarital Counseling Statistics